Rating:
 (4.6 stars)
Bangkok, Thailand
Mar 26, 2004 16:27
Pros: cheap
food, interesting place, oil massage
Cons: none
After waiting for what seemed absolutely ages, the time had finally
arrived for me to pack up my life into a small back pack and ruc
sac and get my arse to Heathrow for my 9.20pm flight. My parents
took me there and we arrived stupidly early, and also at the wrong
terminal, and so after sorting that out went for a coffee. Only
point of note here was that a South African guy approached us and
said 'would we mind his wife breast feeding' at which point my dad
and I went into auto-pilot, sitting up a lot straighter and very
grateful for the warning and strong coffee that we just had that
would keep us alert and able to enjoy this magnificent display for
norks out. However, really the guy just wanted our booth so his
wife could has some privacy. Like true English people we gave up
our prime seats, apologising as we did so, and went to the collapsible
crap where they had just been sitting!
Got a result checking bags in - didn't even queue and so the final
farewell to the parents came a little sooner than expected but was
inevitable. A few tears later and I was in the duty free area, where
my mission was to get as much as possible. Didn't really have time
to think about how upset I was to be leaving all my family and friends
as I was so busy bargain hunting. Spent a huge wedge (digital camera,
clinique happy aka lady killer, loads of stuff from boots) before
going to my gate. As I walked to gate number 8 there was a huge
smile was on my face. I was in an awesome mood and my adventure
was just starting!
To piss me off in this state of mind, you'd really have to go some,
and, to their credit, BA beat me...... I'd say half the plane was
thai people, so I thought if i sat next to one of them, I could
stretch out as they only cover half a seat. However, my jaw hit
the floor as I saw who would be sat to my right..... None other
than Mr 'I have no friends, and even less chance of pulling a bird,
smelly, fat (I'm talking 20 stone) glasses wearing balding man'
He could see my dissapointment and I could see that he was used
to my reaction. I sorted my stuff out, grabbed my copy of FHM, CD
player and Dave Gormans book before squeezing in next to him. After
a brief polite conversation about what we intended to watch on the
flight I had a sudden urge to shout 'look mate, I know why your
on this flight...it's to BUY a wife. Frankly, you disgust me and
should not be allowed to reproduce!' However, I just listened to
my disc man..... Something worth buying, for the journey alone.
Now, I had planned to move to the, at the moment, vacant seat to
my left. A minute before take-off my plans were scuppered by, i'll
refer to her a 'ginger'. Ginger, probably 30 years old, stereotypical
ginger person - luminous hair, double the amount of prescribed freckles,
faint aroma of wee and requires sun block on a 12 month a year basis!
After, another polite conversation with ginger she told me that
she was going on a 2 week detox programme as a recovering alchie.
She had been on a constant garlic diet for the last 4 days and was
a real 'save the whales I can really make a difference' type bird.
Que stereo and large amounts of volume! However, I could smell them
talking to each other!!! And the fact that his flab hung onto my
arm rest covering the control to my tv made the 11 hour flight seem
even longer. Anyway, I've given them too much coverage.
Upon arrival in Bangkok sorted my flight to Nepal for 60 quid cheaper
and secured a cab to the Ko San Road for 350 baht... could be arsed
to haggle. Booked into a comfortable hotel for the equivalent of
8 notes a night - air con, safety deposit book, e mail facility
and bee-day! Guess it's quite up-market! Oh, man is it hot out here!
37 degrees! Roasting!!!! Went for a stroll down the Ko San Rd and
it hasn't changed much in the 4 years that have passed since I was
last here. Cheap food - spent a fiver on a meal and 3 beers. Dogs,
cats and children roaming the streets, eating off the floor and
pissing and shitting as and when required. I'm not a fan of Bangkok
for those reasons alone! It seems ironic therefore that this is
the place i'll visit the most (4 times in total at last count),
albeit for as little amount of time as possible. After eating and
at about 10pm I went for a thai oil massage at the most reputable
looking establishment I could find. I was led through to the back
where I was told, in pigeon English by my 40 something thai woman,
to remove my clothing. "all of it?" I replied. She used
the international language of mime , which I interpreted to mean,
'yes you knob, all of it' I was just about to drop my 'styled trucks'
when she indicated to keep them on... I think we were both relieved!
Good massage though and left feeling like a new man. Ok, a new man
with severe jet lag and sleep deprivation due to fat bloke and ginger!
Slept from 3am til 4 pm so feeling fresher but still not 100% with
it. Not gonna get too comfortable over here as have the mammoth
journey to Nepal where I have to get to a place called Jonsom between
the 1st and 3rd April to be Rob as mentioned in the previous entry.
Now that I have my digital camera I'll try and submit some photos,
but not of Bangkok.
Next installment will be from Nepal.. I promise!!!!! |
